When I was growing up, mental health issues meant only two things:
- You were crazy and should be put away.
- You were an artist and should never get better.
Note: These were not mutually exclusive.
This may have been different in other parts of the country, but in rural, Upstate New York, this was the perception. People going to see a therapist sent forth a litany of whispered gossip from adults. “Are they crazy? Are they dangerous? But they seem so nice, I had no idea they were woo-hoo. You better be careful around them.”
If any of my fellow classmates were on medication for mental health issues, it wasn’t talked about. The only drugs mentioned were the illegal, mind-altering ones. Those students were “druggies” and either the joke of the class (re: stoners), or the outcasts (re: anything heavier), and to be avoided.
To music enthusiasts like myself, at best, mental health issues were reflected in the quality of the music. “You can tell when Robert Smith is on heroin by how good the Cure album is.” And at worst, mental health issues were ignored, replaced by conspiracy theories. “Kurt Cobain couldn’t have killed himself, it must have been Courtney*.”
Representation matters. Positive, healthy (and accurate) representations of mental health is the only way to change the cultural temperature on it.
These two views shaped the way I looked at mental health. Combine that with an upbringing focused on working hard and not to bother people with my emotions, and it created the perfect storm for when depression hit in college. And it hit hard. I only saught help when it was basically forced upon me, and even then, I went to one appointment with a school therapist and as soon as medication was mentioned, I bolted.
I was a film student . . . an artist. Artists were supposed to have mental health issues and medication dulled those issues, removed the creativity—or so I was told by countless movies and urban legends. Plus, only crazy people went to see a therapist, and I wasn’t crazy, just a little sad.
But I wasn’t “just a little sad.” I had full-on depression.
I’m in a lot better of a place now. I have embraced my mental health, I have a good therapist, and I’m not ashamed to admit when I’m struggling. But I often wonder what mistakes I would have avoided if I didn’t grow up in a time when mental health, especially the mental health of males**, wasn’t considered taboo and something to ignore.
Representation matters. Positive, healthy (and accurate) representations of mental health is the only way to change the cultural temperature on it. I do believe that in the last decade or so, we have come far.
On tv and in movies, we’ve seen superheroes with PTSD, we’ve seen action heroes cry, we’ve seen fictional characters taking healthy approaches to their mental health. People with depression, bi-polar disorder, anxiety, etc. are more and more seen as “normal” and not the butt of a joke or the villain. Are there still negative portrayals? Sure, but the positive ones are increasing and becoming the norm.
In music (one of my comfort areas), male, female, and non-binary musicians are honest about their struggles. They sing about their pain, anxiety, and depression. I’m sure some musicians still deal negatively with mental health issues and still medicate with unhealthy coping mechanisms***, but at least more and more musicians are being honest, on and off stage. Through their honesty, they are telling the next (and current) generation that “it’s okay, it’s normal, please take care of yourself.”
Because it is. Whether you’re a man, woman, boy, girl, or non-binary person . . . it’s okay. It’s not weird or bad to focus on your mental health. Everyone goes through struggles. Know that you are not alone and you should seek out help, in whatever way you can. Don’t let the ideals of previous generations stunt you from growing. Mental health is nothing to fear, quite the opposite, it’s something to embrace.
*I don’t believe this and I actually believe it came out of sexism and hero worship. That being said, it was the leading belief amongst my peer group when I was in school.
**Note, I now identify as non-binary but was raised with masculine ideals and expectations.
***If you want to learn more about mental health and the music industry, might I suggest “Bodies” by Ian Winwood. All the trigger warnings though, because it doesn’t pull any punches about the subject.
